No longer my same place

In the last two years I have stepped away from "church" and being involved in ministry. I have sort of detached myself from evangelical culture but I've also avoided the secular culture. It's a weird situation to be in because you don't fit in with either one. 

Before I left to finish the last two years of my university education, I was involved in church ministry for about 5 years. I had worked with the youth group and then I had served in the college ministry team. When I left to go to the university, since I was 2 hours away from home, I decided to see how I could serve there. I was rather burned out you could say from being extremely involved within church ministry so I was not interested in becoming part of a leadership role in any of the christian organizations on campus. I was more interested in just being involved in the lives of those around me, such as roommates or friends on campus. I had found a church within a month that I liked and even though they didn't seem to be a machine of theological learning as I had been brought up in, they had served and loved me genuinely in Christ. (They were a relatively poor church that had been around for many years, but I could see they were filled with genuine people. I hope and pray God does use them to this day with the resources they have and that they don't become wealthy in worldly wealth but in spirit and truth.)

Even so, I purposefully detached myself from church attendance and involvement for those two years. I went maybe twice a month or sometimes once a month. I got a job and so that took up my weekends so I was not able to go all that much. 

What I began to find was that I enjoyed the people but the time I spent in the service was spiritually draining. When I graduated and started visiting churches to find a place to plug in, I also got the same spiritual draining after the service and the people. They taught truth, they were relatively nice (since I was new), but my spirit after learning was not refreshed or inspired, but felt rather exhausted or even dead. 

I've started to wonder about this feeling. I think it is from the fact that I can no longer expect a church to "feed" me truth. I don't want my emotions and spiritual state to be manipulated by what songs they play or how funny or inspiring the preaching was. I'm sick of having to "get something out of" a sermon, or to sit through music where musicians approach God's throne of grace with no fear, no trembling but with these open armed fluffy "Oh how He loves us" praise music.

I don't mean to be arrogant or opinionated in this. I genuinely want to understand what my spiritual state is. I guess I'm not satisfied with the church, but not in a way that I despise it, or think there is no use in it. I specifically wonder how God wants me to be involved in His church. I'm not against going to service, praying with His people, listening to His Word. I know those are important, but I'm beginning to think it's not going to be in the same ways I had been brought up in.

I suppose what it may be is that I desire to put my trust in Christ, to lean on Him and serve among His people. Instead of relying on the expectations of His people, or comparing myself to His people to make sure I'm doing it right. Maybe what has happened is that I've actually stopped for a moment and looked around me among a room full of followers and questioned whom I am following. 

My hope is that I am following Christ in this.

Lord, keep me in humility and have mercy and forgiveness over my arrogance. I pray my heart becomes like yours in mercy and forgiveness towards others who may be arrogant towards me.

Major vent tonight with a friend

Okay I'm pretty angry. I decided to read *my former church's daily devotional* that I get by email. They list Hebrews 10:23-25. Verse 25 states, "Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but let us encourage one another. . ." and *my former church* says "difficulties should never be excuses for missing church services. Rather as difficulties arise we should make an even greater effort to be faithful in attendance" . . . I'm mad. The early christians met together. They didn't sit and listen to someone preach to them in silence and be led by a worship team. Christ was the center and leader. *my former church* completely took this out of context. Our church services today are the product of reformed catholicism NOT early christianity.

It also makes me mad because this forms a mindset of idolizing church services. So if I miss attendance of a particular service or a number of services,I'm apparently not as "spiritual" or well grounded in Christ as the "church attenders" because I'm not being judged by where my heart is in Christ but in my outward attendance of the "status quo" aka, attending church services.

"It's just so sad that's what they have drawn from that package, so shallow and belittling of Scripture. I agree with you. Gosh I've never interpreted that as a direct line to church attendance. I'm so thankful to be part of a church that seeks Christ first and what it means to follow him and how we relate to others in the church. We do much more than attendance!! We are alive completely and made a unified whole righteous church washed in Christ's blood! That's why we don't give up meeting together encouraging, rebuking, and growing with one another to know our beautiful Savior and the hope we have in him! Nothing is better than him."

":) God is good all the time"

I know what you mean I love how *friend's church* describes themselves on their website. No church actually says "we are led by Christ" not even the pentecostals since they like to believe they are led by the Holy Spirit.

"I never realized that before about most churches. Who do they say leads them?"

They don't say, they imply it but really it's more like "We live out Jesus" or "our mission is to make Christ known" but how can you if you're not led by Him?

"I looked up Hebrews and its so blatantly obvious that the larger picture is about persevering in the faith. Holding unswervingly to Jesus, again being led by Him! And meeting together to build our faith. The goal is Christ! Not church attendance. It's important to be with other Christians but what gain is it if you are not persevering in your faith"

Exactly. The church should not be our crutch. It's like when Israel wanted a king so Christians want an organization. They haven't rejected someone earthly as God explained to Samuel, it was God they rejected. It's makes me angry and sad.

"Oh wow. That comparison is so close it's scary. Wow you're right. And to think how we point to that story all the time of how the Israelites were seeking something other than God."

"It's just like marriage. If Christ is not the one leading the relationship if he is not the goal it becomes shallow and is in terrible trouble"

Passion

Colossians 3:4-6  "When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming."

In the last couple of weeks when I would open my Bible I would come across this verse in Colossians. I would sit there and just contemplate one thing that I never realized before. A possible reason why I never caught this before was because I grew up studying out of the NIV which doesn't properly translate the description here. The word I'm looking at that hit me is passion.

Passion. I've hung on that word contemplating it for a couple weeks in Paul's context. The NIV usually translates this word as "lust" but that doesn't do it justice. The word used for passion here in the Greek that Paul uses is "pathos" which can mean good or evil pathos.

That got me thinking about what I was surrounded with growing up in the church and going to a university where Christians were "on fire" for God. I would in a way idolize the people who have such a "passion" for the Gospel. Who seem to live off this passion and I think I'm not as good as a Christian as they are because they seem so "passionate" about God. I would envy that and wonder why I didn't have that same "feeling" or desire. Somedays I did try to live in it but that usually came as a result of allowing my emotions to be manipulated by a great weeklong conference.

Looking back, and comparing to what Paul is saying, the passion I desired wasn't Spirit led for the fruit of the Spirit does not list "passion" or a word anywhere near to this to describe the working of God in the life of a repentant sinner. In fact, he uses passion whether good or bad as what is earthly and should be put to death. Why? Because it is idolatry. I continued to think about how I envied fellow repentant sinners for their "passion" and realizing now that in their and my own ignorance we justified living in an earthly desire that we should put to death, to "serve God" and therefore we were idolizing the desire more than loving Christ.

I then start to think about the pastors that I had heard in the past, who seem to speak about the "passion" of believers serving Christ to in a way sell Jesus to the listeners or to motivate evangelism within their church. Thinking on that, I'm realizing this was all wrong. I then start to relate to Adam Marshall's quote:

"The Gospel is not a victory-drunk invading army, bent on conquering no matter the cost. It is a whisper in the enchanted beauty of the night that calls one to peace and love, insisting, but never tyrannical in its persuasion. It allows itself to be ignored, and in doing so, showcases the glory of God by its thriving in meekness."

It's understandable when new to the faith like being new to a marriage to be caught up in the "moment" of passion with the spouse. As you grow older though you realize that love is more than just that moment or passion. That growth comes through the hardships that you work through with the spouse, testing your love and loyalty to the person you swore into a covenant with. For this reason Paul describes Christ as the groom and the Church as the bride. We each grow in our love for the Creator and we shouldn't envy the passion of others but instead realize that you're goal is to put to death the old self in order to put on the new, which is of course the image and holiness of Christ.

Old Texts/Correspondence Between a Good Friend & I

My thought of the day "Life is such a show. By nature we are children of the father of lies. We think in our minds one thing and when we go out into public we act as if that doesn't exist. It's deceitful and it's more complex too because if we say how we really feel we could hurt people in destructive ways if we say it without care or compassion or fear of God. So because of that without God humanity either deceives each other and puts on a show for all to see or they let it out and hurt the people around them without care. Both are equally destructive."

"You know what amazes me even more than Corrie forgiving the jailer? She sought out to forgive more and more people following him. The first guy she ran into but the others she made it part of her mission in carrying out God's will. That's what happens when we have experienced forgiveness. We have a calling to give others that same grace and forgiveness. It is an obligation, a choice, an act of obedience and a response to love. This is the life lived in Christ.No experience or wrong gives us a free pass on forgiving others, even the victim."

"Most definitely, because we don't fully understand the depth of our sin and depravity but as this is painfully revealed we consider this to be love since without sanctification we would never know and experience the depth of God's good and perfect character. For the cross is far more weighty and glorious when we are humbled."

"Indeed. It's hard because I think God truly meant emotions to be glorifying. They are the outpouring of compassion, kindness, and love but they're not quantifiable. So in this sinful state we are so prone to be ruled by them and not our gracious king."

"Reflecting on the character of Jesus I realized people came to him because they craved hearing truth and seeing love lived out. They didn't come because he was a comedian, or cool, good looking, or charming. He was genuine, sincere, and brutally honest. People are attracted to such a personality but they stay close until such honesty and truth must be applied to them. So many are like the seed that fall on the rocks and don't take root. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised when people come to me only for truth but reject me when it needs to be applied. It's easier to be shallow."

"I understand what you are saying. It's hard to find that balance. I think the reality is, we're all a very poor imitation of Christ so the church seems barely unified, but that is false. We are completely one in the body of Christ. That is how great and powerful Jesus is. Everything will one day be made right and we will one day be a perfect bride. Without our sinful motivations masked behind righteous words."

". . .so I eventually rejected what the majority said and began to compare all aspects of my life to Scripture. I quickly found that the American church is a difficult place to fit if you want to live out New Testament Christianity." -Francis Chan

"I know what you mean about the state of the church goers. I have a desire to serve where God puts me not to go to church and receive an "experience." I know if I didn't believe in God I wouldn't be acting the same. Take note too that in the Old Testament people weren't described as "religious" or "good Judahites/Isrealites" in explaining their righteousness. All the words needed to describe a righteous person was "and they feared God." It had nothing to do with their works but where their heart was set."

"Amen. I think the flaw in indoctrinating the importance of the church is that we make it our idol and our reliance. Instead of relying on Christ we tend to rely on his people or the leadership when we should all function by relying on Christ. The church should be used as a place to serve each other not a place where an individual is spoon fed truth. Truth will be found by souls who are searching for Him not by indoctrinating individuals or providing a grand experience on a sunday or weekly service."

On Spiritual Gluttony in Prayer

6. These persons have the same defect as regards the practice of
prayer, for they think that all the business of prayer consists in
experiencing sensible pleasure and devotion and they strive to obtain
this by great effort, [47] wearying and fatiguing their faculties and

their heads; and when they have not found this pleasure they become
greatly discouraged, thinking that they have accomplished nothing.
Through these efforts they lose true devotion and spirituality, which
consist in perseverance, together with patience and humility and
mistrust of themselves, that they may please God alone. For this
reason, when they have once failed to find pleasure in this or some
other exercise, they have great disinclination and repugnance to return
to it, and at times they abandon it. They are, in fact, as we have

said, like children, who are not influenced by reason, and who act, not
from rational motives, but from inclination. [48] Such persons expend
all their effort in seeking spiritual pleasure and consolation; they
never tire therefore, of reading books; and they begin, now one

meditation, now another, in their pursuit of this pleasure which they

desire to experience in the things of God. But God, very justly, wisely

and lovingly, denies it to them, for otherwise this spiritual gluttony
and inordinate appetite would breed innumerable evils. It is,
therefore, very fitting that they should enter into the dark night,
whereof we shall speak, [49] that they may be purged from this childishness.

John of the Cross on Friendship

 6. Sometimes, again, there arises within these spiritual persons,
   whether they be speaking or performing spiritual actions, a certain
   vigour and bravado, through their having regard to persons who are
   present, and before these persons they display a certain kind of vain
   gratification. This also arises from luxury of spirit, after the manner
   wherein we here understand it, which is accompanied as a rule by
   complacency in the will.

   7. Some of these persons make friendships of a spiritual kind with
   others, which oftentimes arise from luxury and not from spirituality;
   this may be known to be the case when the remembrance of that
   friendship causes not the remembrance and love of God to grow, but
   occasions remorse of conscience. For, when the friendship is purely
   spiritual, the love of God grows with it; and the more the soul
   remembers it, the more it remembers the love of God, and the greater
   the desire it has for God; so that, as the one grows, the other grows
   also. For the spirit of God has this property, that it increases good
   by adding to it more good, inasmuch as there is likeness and conformity
   between them. But, when this love arises from the vice of sensuality
   aforementioned, it produces the contrary effects; for the more the one
   grows, the more the other decreases, and the remembrance of it
   likewise. If that sensual love grows, it will at once be observed that
   the soul's love of God is becoming colder, and that it is forgetting
   Him as it remembers that love; there comes to it, too, a certain
   remorse of conscience. And, on the other hand, if the love of God grows
   in the soul, that other love becomes cold and is forgotten; for, as the
   two are contrary to one another, not only does the one not aid the
   other, but the one which predominates quenches and confounds the other,
   and becomes strengthened in itself, as the philosophers say. Wherefore
   Our Saviour said in the Gospel: That which is born of the flesh is
   flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.' [38] That is to
   say, the love which is born of sensuality ends in sensuality, and that
   which is of the spirit ends in the spirit of God and causes it to grow.
   This is the difference that exists between these two kinds of love,
   whereby we may know them.

   8. When the soul enters the dark night, it brings these kinds of love
   under control. It strengthens and purifies the one, namely that which
   is according to God; and the other it removes and brings to an end; and
   in the beginning it causes both to be lost sight of, as we shall say
   hereafter.

Church Clothes

Church

What I see

We had a plan to build a wall
A great divide that would never fall
To separate us
From all the pain
And keep our skeletons locked away

And brick by brick
We built it so thick
That it blacked out the sky and all the sunlight
And one by one
We all became numb
We were making the bullets to a broken gun

If I could just see it all
Just like a fly on the wall
Would I be able to accept what I can't control?
And would I share what I saw?
Or just sit back and ignore
Like nothing never happened
And I haven't seen you before?

Where my heart is:

I wanna live, I wanna be the change
We can all be kings and queens
If we can just learn to believe
If we can just learn to believe

John of the Cross' perspective on new christians

AS these beginners feel themselves to be very fervent and diligent in spiritual things and devout exercises, from this prosperity (although it is true that holy things of their own nature cause humility) there often comes to them, through their imperfections, a certain kind of secret pride, whence they come to have some degree of satisfaction with their works and with themselves. And hence there comes to them likewise a certain desire, which is somewhat vain, and at times very vain, to speak of spiritual things in the presence of others, and sometimes even to teach such things rather than to learn them. They condemn others in their heart when they see that they have not the kind of devotion which they themselves desire; and sometimes they even say this in words, herein resembling the Pharisee, who boasted of himself, praising God for his own good works and despising the publican. [21] 2. In these persons the devil often increases the fervour that they have and the desire to perform these and other works more frequently, so that their pride and presumption may grow greater. For the devil knows quite well that all these works and virtues which they perform are not only valueless to them, but even become vices in them. And such a degree of evil are some of these persons wont to reach that they would have none appear good save themselves; and thus, in deed and word, whenever the opportunity occurs, they condemn them and slander them, beholding the mote in their brother's eye and not considering the beam which is in their own; [22] they strain at another's gnat and themselves swallow a camel. [23]


 Oh how this has applied to me in many ways.

Happiness or the Dark Night

The state of perfection defined by John of the Cross: union of love with God.


This is what my soul longs for. Yet it comes with a cost. During the time of darkness for the soul, it walks through the strait and narrow path to God. The soul goes through many trials, strifes. But looking back the soul sees that time as exercise and a blessing to its very soul guiding it nearer into the arms of God, walking in unity and love in Him.


This brought me to my thought of happiness. How can you attain happiness in a fallen world without God? You cannot. Perfect happiness is not individualistic, humanistic, or found in a heaven of our own imagination such as platonic ideas or prosperity americanized ideas. These ideas make happiness the end goal, or even the means to perfect happiness. But that's not in any correlation to Christ's life on earth, as the suffering servant. Finding happiness then, becomes our idolatry. Perfect happiness is only a byproduct of unity with God, not the source. If we are living our lives so that we can find happiness or be happy, that is our failure. Our end goal should be the desire to have unity with God.

Colossians 1:15-23

"He [Jesus] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all thing were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation - if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant."

Sums up my feelings about the churches today

Need Cleansing

What a morning of sinful thoughts. I cannot stand this indwelling evil. Jesus, please wash my feet. Cleanse me from my daily shortcomings.

All morning I felt like I could not be forgiven, I am constantly in sin. Yet I realized that Jesus humbly serves me, a wretched sinner, to save me from my fallen corrupted soul.

How humbling. The Creator of the universe, serves His creation. . .

. . . I ask for the patience and compassion of my God, to do the same, to go low and serve those in need today. Jesus wash my feet, so I will be capable of washing others.

A Good Steal

I stole this from Aubrey's tumblr post.  :-)

When Grace Goes Violent

“Grace-driven effort is violent. It is aggressive. The person who understands the gospel understands that, as a new creation, his spiritual nature is in opposition to sin now, and he seeks not just to weaken sin in his life but to outright destroy it. Out of love for Jesus, he wants sin starved to death, and he will hunt and pursue the death of every sin in his heart until he has achieved success.

This is a very different pursuit than simply wanting to be good. It is the result of having transferred one’s affections to Jesus. When God’s love takes hold of us, it powerfully pushes out our own love for other gods and frees our love to flow back to him in true worship. And when we love God, we obey him. The moralist doesn’t operate that way. While true obedience is a result of love, moralistic legalism assumes it works the other way around, that love results from obedience.”

The Explicit Gospel, (Wheaton: Crossway, 2012), 217–218.

The Great Deception

"In his image of perfection, joy, bliss, it was paradise
But I can hear the ploy, the hiss (no more being nice)
Of the serpent who slithers in the grass
And calls into question, the giver of the task (are you sure)
I know they brew over me (I'm the beast of the field)
But how can I persuade them (gotta get us out their minds)
Make'em think that they are animals (make'em think they are the king)
Then I can degrade them (then I got'em, I got'em)
This is my plot, but I'll have to use their appetites to twist them in a knot
(Tell'em they can be like God) Then maybe I can win
If I could use Adam's appetite to make him sin"


-Flame, "The Great Deception"


Going through my homefeed on facebook I came across a pretty offensive picture that one of my friends had put up. It troubled me greatly. It was a half naked women and a joke about how many men noticed nothing else in the picture. The first thing that came to my mind was this, "convince them you're just an animal." The deception of our world is this, to degrade the image God created us and to put us into bondage of our flesh. We have been degraded as animals, and allowed our appetites to feed like we are animals. 


The main ideology within academics is secular humanism, a degradation of humanity, we evolved from animals and as such, we may be degraded into the appetite of a mammal. Morality is not beyond our reach but it is also not necessary for us to attain, since we are just animals, and therefore we will always fall back into the instinct of appetite. 


The second portion of the deception is to make us believe we are the rulers of our lives. We are the rulers of humanity, within Christian circles, we are the rulers of the churches and not Christ. We are God. This side of deception is found in our pride and arrogance. Because of our decision to disobey we handed ourselves over to become animals and have been chained to the arrogance so we remain stuck in degradation and pride, thinking we can be like God, and remain hopeless because of it. As Flame continues,


"From the dawn of history, the mystery of lawlessness
Hijack the cosmic order, interrupted flawlessness
Introduce fallenness and now the servant-king
Who used to rule the land forfeited everything
And now the image bearers, Adam and Eve
Gave up their authority and were forced to leave
The sanctuary of Eden, The world was the kingdom
But Adam brought the curse
Because of his disobedience
Now demonic powers, rule the universeSatan is the leader, and death is the curse"




We are hopeless. Except. . .




"The Father sent Jesus, to come press reverse"




Yet there is no easy reverse button and so,




"he had to hit the wilderness first
To overcome temptation, overcome sin
These are the things that are common to man
And that's exactly what he did, after the resurrection
The safest place to be is in Him for protection
For perfection
For correction
To escape the great deception"




As I am continually bombarded with the great deception beaming into my eyes, and constantly talking in my ear, I have a hope that Jesus has provided a way for me to escape it. My fallen animal instincts may remain with me, and my arrogance to keep me chain to them may continue to tempt me, but as Lecrae tells his sin, "Yeah I know, but I'm dead to you, and one day I will be present with Jesus who died and bled from you" so I tell mine. We may have handed the world over to the great deceiver, but we still have a choice to escape it, and because of God's love and perfection through Jesus Christ, I am forgiven for degrading the image of God and have been set free from the bondage of my arrogance. God has saved me and I have escaped the great deception.

God is so gracious

God is so gracious towards me.

I sit in my car saying with tears, "You are so patient. I am so fallen. You are so gracious. I am so corrupted. How loving You are. How unloving I am. How often I fall short, You have triumphed above and beyond me."

I have not won victory over my sin or my shortcomings. Jesus has won victory over it. I am following in step with him in the assurance that when He has began a good work in me, He will carry it on into completion at the day Jesus returns.

I do nothing apart from God.

:-)

Wisdom from a Sister

Some wisdom I love getting by texts. These two are from a sister in Christ. . .

"Just read those verses and yes I see the hatred. It's like they've been told the truth about themselves. It's now displayed for all to see and they can't stand it. I see that same attitude in some of my students. They don't want me to call them out and if I do they want me to feel bad, like it's my fault somehow they did poorly on a test but its not. It's their responsibility.

What makes the situation so traumatic is Jesus was giving up his life for them. Taking responsibility for their actions. And yet still just the sting of truth causes walls to be built and bitterness and hatred to grow."

Yesterday I received this one, which is in reference to Corrie Ten Boom in her biography, The Hiding place. . ,

"You know what amazes me even more than Corrie forgiving the jailer? She sought out to forgive more and more people following him. The first guy she ran into but the others she made it part of her mission in carrying out God's will. That's what happens when we have experienced forgiveness. We have a calling to give others that same grace and forgiveness. It is an obligation, a choice, an act of obedience and a response to love. This is the life lived in Christ. No experience or wrong gives us a free pass on forgiving others. Even the victim."

For His Sake and For Your Joy, Go Low

Please, Wash My Feet!

And if we keep on saying we don’t need that or don’t want that, then we show that we have not been saved, that we have not been “completely cleansed.” Paul said it like this in 1 Corinthians 5:7, “Cleanse out the old leaven [that is, let Jesus wash your feet] that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened.” You really are completely clean, Peter.But the mark of completely clean disciples is that they hate their daily shortcomings and come to Christ for daily cleansing (foot-washing). If you confess your sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive and cleanse.

So the second level meaning in this acted-out lesson is this: Representatives of Jesus —then and today — should go low in humility and service not only because Jesus did, and not only because (verse 17) it is the most deeply joyful way of life, but also because they are completely clean. Representatives of Jesus know their true, unshakable standing with God as “completely clean” (verse 10) and they don’t claim that they have no sin, but they know how to deal with their ongoing sin. They confess their sin and receive daily cleansing. When Jesus offers to wash their feet, they say, yes. I know I am clean — I am born again, I am saved, I am justified, I have eternal life, I am a child of God, but I have sinned and I receive the foot-washing — the renewed cleansing — of Jesus.

For the whole sermon: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/for-his-sake-and-for-your-joy-go-low

Lecrae's album, Rebel

Live free by His mercy & grace & tell the the world I'm gone,

Live free by His patience & peace & tell the flesh I'm gone,

Live free by His joy & love & tell the lust I'm gone,

Live free by His truth & just & tell the hate I'm gone --Sho Baraka

One of my favorite hymns of all time

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

Reason we don't feel God's Immeasurable Power

Taken from Piper:

One is that, because of this spiritual dullness, we are not fully aware of the blinding, deadening power of sin that is now being conquered in our lives by God’s superior power. If you are feeling healthy, you will be thrilled with the power of your medicine, only if you know the deadly power of the disease it is holding back. If you are forgiven and have any measure of victory over sin in your life, you will be amazed at the power of God, only if you know the indescribable depth and power of sin.

Another reason we don’t feel the power of God toward us now is that we are not fully aware of the magnitude of demonic power that is coming against us at all times—yes, even in this modern, scientific age. If you feel safe, you will be thrilled with your protector, only if you know the deadly power of the enemy he is holding back. If you have any measure of freedom from demonic control, you will be amazed at God’s power toward you now, only if you know the indescribable power of Satan.

And the third reason we don’t feel God’s power toward us is that we do not consider fully what has happened to Jesus and his present role in the universe. If Jesus gave his life for you, and you belong to him—body, soul, and spirit—you will be amazed at God’s power toward you now, only if you see what has become of him since the resurrection.

To read the whole sermon (or watch it): http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/the-immeasurable-greatness-of-his-power-toward-us

Characteristics of a Cultic Mindset

The difference between a cult and a legitimate group is relationship, not doctrine. Although it will usually follow that a cultic group will also endorse heretical doctrine, that is not what makes it a cult. Other, non-Christian religions will embrace doctrines contrary to Christian faith. That does not necessarily make them cults. A group is defined as cultic by the dependant/controlling relationship that forms between the leader of the group and his followers. The leader acquires an inappropriate level of control over the individuals of a group by fostering personal dependence upon him as the source and definer of truth. A cultic group has a strong, influential leader who knows how to encourage followers to remain personally dependent upon him for truth, purpose and guidance.

In developing this list, I was more interested in showing the characteristics of a cult as opposed to addressing specific heretical teachings; cultic symptoms rather than specific doctrinal aberrations.

My reason for this approach is twofold: First, specific heresies will change from one cult to another, but there are certain characteristics which remain fairly consistent between cults by which a cultic group can be identified. Secondly, and perhaps more ominously, large segments of the charismatic church are becoming very cultic in practice even though they may claim to believe the major tenets of Christian faith. Most of these traits were very characteristic of the Walk, and are becoming very common in Vineyard and Charismatic circles.

1. Loyalty to charismatic leadership over Scripture. The primary characteristic of a cultic mindset is devotion to leadership over an objective standard of truth. Cultic followers have an excessive devotion to popular teachers, and are unwilling or disinclined to question them. They place too much trust in leadership without exercising independent, critical thought that resorts to objective standards of information outside of the group. This mindset is very predominant in Vineyard and Charismatic circles, seen in the almost blind trust placed in prophetic leadership. This is evident in their willingness to believe what they are told, as long as the right person says it. They are disinclined to exercise independent, critical thought and search the scriptures to see if what is being taught is true.

2. Believing what’s said based on WHO says it. Truth is determined by what the leaders say. The cultic-mindset determines the acceptability of what is said more by whosays it rather than how well it conforms to the Word of God. This mindset is predominant in the Walk, and has become predominant in Vineyard/Charismatic and “TB” circles. Today, anyone can say almost anything in a Charismatic/ Vineyard crowd and get away with it, as long as they have the right type of ‘loving’, charismatic personality and appear to move in spiritual gifts. In other words, as long as the ministry package looks good, they tend to accept the contents of the teaching with little question.

3. An unwillingness to question leaders. Idolizing leaders and placing them on a pedestal. Quick to excuse and overlook their faults. Leaders will often take doubts and questions as a personal attack. Questioning the leader is viewed as rebellion, stubbornness, or spiritualized as a demonic ploy to undermine ‘God’s anointed’.

4. Fear of disapproval by the group. A fearfulness of saying something that the leaders and/or others in the group may not approve of.

5. Elitist and exclusive. They think of themselves as the spiritual cutting-edge. An excessive need for acceptance and belonging to an ‘inner circle’. A fear of being left out of Gods new thing is one expression of this.

6. Dismissive attitude towards those outside the group. A disregard for what others say and think who are not in the group.

7. A polarized “In or Out”, “Us” versus “Them” attitude towards those outside the ‘movement’. Those outside the ‘move’ are given derogatory labels. It is considered that those outside don’t have what it takes to be apart of the superior goals of the group. This is often seen in the ‘get-on-board-with-this-move-or-you’ll-miss-it’ style of preaching often seen in charismatic circles.

8. Those outside the group just don’t understand.

9. Lack of tolerance for dissent. Dissenters threatened with divine punishment. Dissent, doubt and questioning are not tolerated and perceived as a personal attack on the leadership. They have difficulty separating the message from the messenger. (Need I bother pointing out here that “TB” revival leaders are well-known for attacking dissenters, and threatening them with judgment from God?)

10. Rational thought is discouraged. Group experience over loyalty to truth. Don’t think about it, just jump in. Don’t stop to analyze, just be open to what the ‘spirit’ is doing.

11. The superior ends of the group justify the means. Revival leaders are well known for their pragmatic approach to the ‘truth’. If it works, it’s OK.

12. Group leaders determine how followers should think and what is ‘true’. Truth and reality (paradigm) are determined within the context of the group. People with a cultic-mindset tend to submerge their own thoughts under the thoughts of the leader and group. They have greater confidence in the opinions of others than of their own.[33]

13. A lack of discretion and independent thought. Pro.2:11 states that “discretion will protect you”. Discretion is the ability to think for yourself; to exercise independent thought or action according to one’s own judgment. Cultic followers are noticeably lacking in this ability,[34] so they are easily persuaded by a dynamic and charismatic leader. They find it difficult to stand back with a measure of detachment and evaluate things with a cool head in the light of God’s Word.

14. Cultic persons gravitate towards dependence upon a ‘priesthood’ for their contact with God. This ‘priesthood’ can take the form of an ‘anointed’ person, a prophet, an apostle, or anyone who receives from God for the follower. Cultic persons place excessive trust in the leader and the leader’s so-called contact with God.

15. Accusative self-doubt in relation to leadership. It can take the form of self-doubting questions such as: Who do I think I am, anyway? Who am I to question what the leaders are saying? What makes me think I was right and so many big name ministries are wrong?

16. Lack of recourse and accountability outside the group. Little if any accountability outside the group. Members of the group take little recourse outside the group for information or help as far as the defining ‘truths’ and purpose of the group are concerned.

Taken from http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/cultsandcharismatic.html

What is scary from this description is how I use to think when I was younger. It does not necessarily mean the church I had attended was a cult, but I easily had fallen into the mindset out of my own ignorance. I believe every Christian I have met (including myself in the past) has had this mindset, or has it to some degree. What a spiritual danger it is when God's people start worshiping the church over Christ. Jesus never taught that. The more I leave this mindset the more I feel isolated from a Christian society that surrounds me and the harder I cling in dependence on God.

Rather eerie

From Pope Gregory VII to Otto bishop of Constance

"Further, we are urged to this by the authority of the blessed Pope Leo who deprived subdeacons of the right to marry, a decree to which his successors in the Holy Roman Church, especially that famous doctor Gregory, gave such force of law that henceforth the marriage bond has been absolutely forbidden to the three orders of priests, levites, and subdeacons."

From St. Paul to St. Timothy

Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.

1 Timothy 4:1-3

Such a great podcast today:

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/for-his-sake-and-for-your-joy-go-low

The Art of Jesus

"Truly, Truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it will bear much fruit."

John 12:24

I've been thinking over this verse today and I really love it. The illustration is profound. For some reason this one sticks out to me as if I was looking at a piece of art that I really like. Maybe I like it because I haven't heard many sermons or christian leaders mention it and I uncovered it myself and realize the meaning without the need of another's interpretation. I cherish those moments that happen, where I can just be amazed by the Truth without feeling like another person trying to reveal it to me. It's like discovering treasure or a place that no one else has shown you before.

As I ramble on and on about this then, I leave it for you to interpret without me explaining why I like it. It's so post modern of me I know, haha but I think sometimes we grow numb to God's Word from a constant reliance of preaching that we forget what it's like to learn without a human intermediary and His Spirit alone speaking into our hearts.

Of course, maybe that's just my problem.

[Disclaimer] I'm not against preaching, I can prove that to you by showing you all the Piper sermons I've been listening to all week. ;-) [/Disclaimer]

Fruit, Branch, Grafted In

I love Paul's contrast in Galatians 5.

The works of the flesh vs. fruit of the Spirit.

I love that wording, because the flesh is "works" it's something we do. The fruit is something God does through us. So anything we do on our own, no matter how good we think it is, is a work of the flesh. It's when we stay in step with the Spirit that we bear fruit. We don't create nor produce the fruit, it's produced within us through the Spirit.

It's such a cool concept.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

John 15:1-5

The comparison that Paul uses coincides with Jesus when talking about being the true vine. It's such a humbling reality.

Another passage that comes to my mind often is also humbling. I love reading what Paul has to say about the remanent of Israel in Romans 11. When he compares the Gentiles and Jews my favorite part is this:

For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.

Romans 11:30-32

I love that line, because Paul is telling the Gentiles (aka nowadays would be me and the majority of Christians in the world) that it wasn't because we were so great that Jesus came, but because of Israel's disobedience. So basically, we are shown mercy off of another groups failure. I don't know about you but I find this as rather insulting to us as arrogant Christians. lol Pardon the illustration, but we are basically the rebound relationship after God broke up with Israel. He let us in and showed us mercy just to make Israel jealous. (read verse 11) I'm not saying this in disdain towards God, but in disdain to us, we think we're so special and we aren't. (aka, the "elected" that is) When I read that I laughed because it was a humbling reality, that Christianity is not about me, it's about God. Let me quote Paul again to make it even more clear, just because we "love Jesus" does not mean we are excluded from the same consequences as Israel has undergone if we live in arrogance. . .

"Do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, 'Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.' That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you."

Romans 11:19-21

Keep in mind this truth. Christianity is not about you. It's about God's mercy. It's not about our little worlds, it's about God's bigger plan and I am amazed and thankful to be acknowledged into His plan. None of us deserve this. Let's take the time to stand in awe of God's awesome and mysterious ways shall we?

Security

Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called “the uncircumcision” by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands— remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.

For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.

In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Don't forget where your identity lies Christian. Who you once were, you no longer are, and you are being made new day by day.

So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.

For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.

For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

We are called to be like Christ, hence why we call ourselves Christian. Jesus knew and was not shaken by his identity as God's Son. Let us not fall into the lies that we are not God's children, no matter our mistakes.

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

John 1:12

Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

1 John 3:2,3

You've already made too many mistakes

To ever amount to anything great

You're not allowed to dream out loud

You're far too young to even count

You're much to poor without any doubt

And you haven't done nearly enough

To deserve any grace or anyone's love

God, speak true.

To the lies we've believed instead of you