Why is it that I can never get a break? :-/

“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Praise You God

:-) It's so good to hear from a sister in Christ who is fighting in the faith, testing all things, and not quenching the Spirit's fire.

Praise you God for how amazing you are to humanity. My day today was of no value in godly fellowship, when it comes to going to church, I had to work. Though, my desires and longings far outweigh what any church "service" can gratify. I want community, and I don't want to learn anymore, I want to live it out.

God, thank you for even when I cannot go somewhere for community, you provide it in much greater ways.

Today I was feeling guilty because I didn't go to church and I honestly didn't have a desire to really go any way. I prayed about it, and I wanted to make sure that I didn't have any unfair judgmental attitudes that prevented me. As I wrestle with my thoughts, I spent time in the Word before entering work. It's weird desiring community and not able to get it from a church structure.

God you amaze me. Today I received texts from three amazing christian women in my life who were so blown away by God's Word. Two know each other but are not even in the same area while the other barely knows the other two. They didn't plan it. The Word of God just overflowed in them and they decided to share it with me. How blessed is this wandering and wretched soul of mine.

God knows how to fill my longings. I am utterly amazed right now.