Humility Finds Its Rightful Place

"As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have greater wisdom than other living men, but so that you, O king, may know the interpretation and that you may understand what went through your mind."

Daniel 2:30

When I opened up to read what God had to say this morning I came across this verse. It really made me think a lot about Daniel's character. That is the most humble thing a human being can say. Notice how Daniel did not take any credit for this dream interpretation. He told the king he is no better than any other wise men. I believe that is the way to think as a Christian especially. Daniel understood that God was using him not to benefit Daniel by making him feel good about himself but to benefit the king. God could have chosen ANY of the wise men in the kingdom at that time. He could have chosen Daniel's friends, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah; but He didn't. God chose to give the interpretation to Daniel and only to Daniel.

It really reminded me of my place before the kingdom of God. It reminded me that God doesn't have to use me, He chooses to use me. He is the one that gives wealth, greatness, and wisdom, and He is also the one that takes away wealth, greatness, and wisdom.

After reading about Daniel and really feeling so inadequate in my own faith, I turned to Job when God speaks. Talk about a morning of inadequacy. ;-) Here's Job suffering and in total hell, he is questioning God, his friends try to defend God and then God speaks saying,

"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" Job 38:2

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations? Tell me, if you understand." Job 38:4

"Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?" Job 38:5

"On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone--while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 38:6,7

Then Job answers God's 3 chaptered questions with,

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." Job 42:2-6

I really needed to read this today. I have been questioning God and worrying about my future, and becoming discouraged each day as I wait for answers to my questions. Who am I to question God? Who am I to tell Him what I want to do. Who am I to rush Him and His timing? I am human. I am here to serve the Almighty not myself. I am here to use my days and my hours wisely for His glory not my own. Who am I to darken God's counsel by trying to figure His ways out? Do I know what I'm doing this summer? No. Do I know what I am doing in the Fall? No. Does God provide for His children? Yes. but in His timing and in His ways. I need to sit back and just wait and be patient. To remember that I am not in control at all, only God is.

My only hope is that I am pleasing Him in my life right now, this very minute, and this very hour.

God bless!

In Christ,

Amber

Reorganizing

How marvelous, how wonderful and my song shall ever be. How marvelous how wonderful is my Savior's love for me. :-)

I started my day out lazily, sleeping over a friends house and coming home and showering around 4pm. I attempted to get things done, but I basically slacked off until about 7pm. What's interesting is that I had started reading the chapter we will be going over in Bible study this thursday and here's something that really stuck out to me today, "A simple and orderly life represents a clean and orderly mind. Muddled thinking inevitably results in muddled living. A house that is cluttered is usually lived in by people whose minds are also cluttered, who need to simplify their lives. This begins with simplifying and clarifying their thinking. Mind and life need to be freed from the 'disorder of the unnecessary'."

I started thinking about my own life, my room was so disorganized, and I wanted to make some changes by tidying it up. I avoid my room a lot because it can get so disorganized and if I go in there it just overwhelms me with duties I am neglecting. This disorganization is all over my life I realized. Yesterday my mind was a disorganized mess. I couldn't think straight, there was too much to think about, I became so emotional it was so hard for me to worship at church last night. I was in tears because so much was going on I couldn't comprehend. Was it anyones fault? No. I believe the fault lay with me, because of the disorganization in my heart and how much discipline I've lacked. I'm still picking up the pieces from my last blog mind you, I'm only human. ;-) However, what is so cool is how today, after I read that quote, I decided to tidy up my room. I spent about 3 hours cleaning out stuff I no longer need, papers that I wrote that I don't need, church bulletins I never threw away. (yeah, I suffer with a pack rat gene...I'm working on it) I was listening to some christian music while doing it, and just reading past sermons, quotes that I found written down, letters/cards friends had written to me, my whole mood changed. I feel freed from over thinking, worrying, not being able to focus. It was like, once I organized one area of my life (a very small area mind you) my mind became organized. I have the song that I quoted at the beginning of this in my head and I've been singing it all night.

My new year started off so badly in my own personal life. I haven't been content since after Christmas. I realized recently what my problem was, and I noticed how I am changing personality wise. I feel older, that I've learned a lot last year, and even these past couple of weeks about myself. I've been praying that God would expose a sin in my life that I am not aware of and I think He has. It's really nice to realize it and to be able to name it. Funny how organizing ones room can do so much for them spiritually eh? :-)

No Guilt in Life

"There is a hope that burns within my heart, that gives me strength for every passing day."

I just need to surrender to that hope.

"When I'm stained with guilt and sin, He is there to lift me, heal me and forgive me, gives me the strength to stand again, stronger than I was before."

God doesn't cause guilt. He convicts us, we feel the guilt and we either do something about it or hide it. If we surrender that guilt to Christ, we are free, if we hide it, Satan has us in bondage. Guilt is a very strong force. Don't let it take over you life. The problem with guilt is that even when you have faced it, it still tries to come back and take you captive by haunting you. When that happens the only thing I can do is run from it and into God's Word.

"No guilt in life, no fear of death, this is the power of Christ in me"

Being a child of God, a Christ follower, a Christian, means we have to pack lightly. We cannot be weighed down by our past regrets, our present worries, and our futures fears. There isn't time for that, the fields are ripe for harvest. We have to work for the kingdom. If we regret and feel guilt from our past we have not truly surrendered our life to God's work, we haven't been cleansed and renewed by His love and mercy and amazing grace. If we worry about today what good can we make of it? If we fear what our future holds, how silly is that, since we cannot add a single second to our life by worrying? If anything, we lose it a part of our life by worrying. Instead we should be working one day at the time, one moment at a time, one second at a time. All we know is now, let us do what we can do now. That is all that matters.

Today, I choose to live free from guilt, I choose to not worry about my future, today, I choose to serve the LORD and go where He wants me to go. I've lived in darkness this past week. I've hidden from people it seems, I've wanted to be left alone, I wanted to just sit quietly in my room and be left alone, I didn't want to care for the needs of others, I didn't want to take the time to talk to people, I didn't want to take the time to just spend time with friends, I wanted to sulk and hide. Why? because I let my past in. I let my sin in. I let myself be exposed and I hated it. Oh the ugliness of my humanity, what wonder our Savior is, for saving a wretch like me, not from the world, but from myself.

I am free. Don't forget that Amber. I am free. Don't go back to your chains. You have been freed.

Each time I fall the harder it seems to get back up. God knows I will get up though, He knows I hate myself and I don't like being controlled in this way. He will lift me and pick of the shattered pieces, why? because He has a plan. Do I know what it is? No. But I know anything is good when I know I'm serving my King. :-)

My Life in a Nutshell

Me talking to Freeman

i feel like God's asking me to do stuff that isn't easy

i love it.

Oh gosh. Me too.

when i do it

i feel like i'm in total warfare

i'm so confused

i'm not at peace

but i know i'm doing the right thing

Amen

it sucks

but it's good for me

Ugh. God never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it.

Amen. :-)