Such a great podcast today:

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/for-his-sake-and-for-your-joy-go-low

The Art of Jesus

"Truly, Truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it will bear much fruit."

John 12:24

I've been thinking over this verse today and I really love it. The illustration is profound. For some reason this one sticks out to me as if I was looking at a piece of art that I really like. Maybe I like it because I haven't heard many sermons or christian leaders mention it and I uncovered it myself and realize the meaning without the need of another's interpretation. I cherish those moments that happen, where I can just be amazed by the Truth without feeling like another person trying to reveal it to me. It's like discovering treasure or a place that no one else has shown you before.

As I ramble on and on about this then, I leave it for you to interpret without me explaining why I like it. It's so post modern of me I know, haha but I think sometimes we grow numb to God's Word from a constant reliance of preaching that we forget what it's like to learn without a human intermediary and His Spirit alone speaking into our hearts.

Of course, maybe that's just my problem.

[Disclaimer] I'm not against preaching, I can prove that to you by showing you all the Piper sermons I've been listening to all week. ;-) [/Disclaimer]

Fruit, Branch, Grafted In

I love Paul's contrast in Galatians 5.

The works of the flesh vs. fruit of the Spirit.

I love that wording, because the flesh is "works" it's something we do. The fruit is something God does through us. So anything we do on our own, no matter how good we think it is, is a work of the flesh. It's when we stay in step with the Spirit that we bear fruit. We don't create nor produce the fruit, it's produced within us through the Spirit.

It's such a cool concept.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

John 15:1-5

The comparison that Paul uses coincides with Jesus when talking about being the true vine. It's such a humbling reality.

Another passage that comes to my mind often is also humbling. I love reading what Paul has to say about the remanent of Israel in Romans 11. When he compares the Gentiles and Jews my favorite part is this:

For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.

Romans 11:30-32

I love that line, because Paul is telling the Gentiles (aka nowadays would be me and the majority of Christians in the world) that it wasn't because we were so great that Jesus came, but because of Israel's disobedience. So basically, we are shown mercy off of another groups failure. I don't know about you but I find this as rather insulting to us as arrogant Christians. lol Pardon the illustration, but we are basically the rebound relationship after God broke up with Israel. He let us in and showed us mercy just to make Israel jealous. (read verse 11) I'm not saying this in disdain towards God, but in disdain to us, we think we're so special and we aren't. (aka, the "elected" that is) When I read that I laughed because it was a humbling reality, that Christianity is not about me, it's about God. Let me quote Paul again to make it even more clear, just because we "love Jesus" does not mean we are excluded from the same consequences as Israel has undergone if we live in arrogance. . .

"Do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, 'Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.' That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you."

Romans 11:19-21

Keep in mind this truth. Christianity is not about you. It's about God's mercy. It's not about our little worlds, it's about God's bigger plan and I am amazed and thankful to be acknowledged into His plan. None of us deserve this. Let's take the time to stand in awe of God's awesome and mysterious ways shall we?

Security

Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called “the uncircumcision” by what is called the circumcision, which is made in the flesh by hands— remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.

For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.

In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Ephesians 2:11-22

Don't forget where your identity lies Christian. Who you once were, you no longer are, and you are being made new day by day.

So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.

For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.

For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

We are called to be like Christ, hence why we call ourselves Christian. Jesus knew and was not shaken by his identity as God's Son. Let us not fall into the lies that we are not God's children, no matter our mistakes.

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

John 1:12

Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

1 John 3:2,3

You've already made too many mistakes

To ever amount to anything great

You're not allowed to dream out loud

You're far too young to even count

You're much to poor without any doubt

And you haven't done nearly enough

To deserve any grace or anyone's love

God, speak true.

To the lies we've believed instead of you

The works of the flesh

It has been a rough couple months. I've dealt with a lot of sin that I let just mingle within my heart and mind that I realize needs to absolutely die. Yes, as "mind sins" do, it is the belief in a lie, but mine is not just believing in a lie it's loving the lie I believe. It is arrogance, shallowness, impurity, unfaithfulness. This is the sin that destroys me. The lies I love to believe coincide with these sins.

I can't live in this any longer. It's not good, it's not right, it's not holy, it's not pure. It's evil. My sin, is not just some annoying problem or habit I possess, it is utter evil. It is what causes God to burn against humanity, it's what cost the Son of God his life. Sin. Not just general human sin, but Amber's sin. The stuff that I willingly choose to do because of the enjoyment of it's' evil. I enjoy and could care less of how I make God or anyone else feel as long as I get to do what I want to do. That's real evil.

While reading Confessions, I find myself relating to Augustine as he looks back on the time he stole pears from someone's pear tree:

Behold my heart, O God, behold my heart, which Thou hadst pity upon in the bottom of the bottomless pit. Now, behold, let my heart tell Thee what it sought there, that I should be gratuitously evil, having no temptation to ill, but the ill itself. It was the foul, and I loved it; I loved to perish, I loved mine own fault, not that for which I was faulty, but my fault itself. Foul soul, falling from Thy firmament to utter destruction; not seeking aught through the shame, but the shame itself!

He also says after this how he did not even eat the pears he stole. It was not out of need or desire for the pears itself, because he did not want the pears. He wanted to just steal for the act of stealing. There was no logical reason for it besides desire.

There's a lie that goes around christian circles, it goes something like this: God gave you those desires for a reason. (this lie is usually in the context of marital desire)

So how is God giving us desires for a reason a lie? Let me put it into context. When I was single, that was something told to me that I began to tell myself when I would be feeling lonely. The desire to have someone, preferably Mr. Right, was what my desire was when I faced that loneliness.

In my mind, if I was feeling lonely it was because I was meant to be with someone and not stay single my whole life. Because ultimately God loves to give good gifts to me His child, and this was a gift I wanted.

What's wrong with this picture? The loneliness I felt was sinful. It was discontentment with what God has provided for me. I wanted something more and He was withholding that more from me, to teach me and grow me, is what I told myself at least. In reality though, God's Will is God's Will. The human desires should be denied. A lot of times denying them is by redirecting them towards the throne of God and matching His holiness with our own. (Of course, if you know God, then you know we are not holy whatsoever)

I think what irks me the most is that I found this lying mindset (and still do) in Christian circles today. I see it among fellow sisters in Christ, who are seeking fulfillment in dating or marriage. I don't get it. That's not the mindset of a follower of Christ, why? Because with that mindset the self desires to be fulfilled by another person. Not God though. What does Jesus call us to do?

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? Mark 8:34-36

To deny the self, of what? Of all things ungodly, of all pleasures outside of God's holiness. The lust of self should be denied if we are truly followers of Christ. I like how Augustine defines the difference between lust and love, this has been on my mind a lot lately and I think it is a very good way to divide the two.

"By love I mean the impulse of one's mind to enjoy God on his own account and to enjoy oneself and one's neighbour on account of God, and by lust I mean the impulse of one's mind to enjoy oneself and one's neighbour and any corporeal thing not on account of God."

-St. Augustine

How convicting is that? Ha! I just laugh at myself over this quote because it is so intense. Yet so very true.

I am reading through Ezekiel and I came across these verses that I kept rereading.

On the mountain height of Israel will I plant it, that it may bear branches and produce fruit and become a noble cedar. And under it will dwell every kind of bird; in the shade of its branches birds of every sort will nest. And all the trees of the field shall know that I am the LORD; I bring low the high tree, and make high the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree flourish. I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it.”

Ezekiel 17:23-24

I want to flourish like that. I want that refreshment of God's will. His Sovereign control over my life is humbling.

"When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory" Colossians 3:4

I love how Paul describes Christ. He is my life. Not just someone who keeps me busy and gives me a social life or someone who makes me out to be a better person, no. He is life. He gives me life. A breathe of spiritual wakefulness.

Within the deadness of my evil, there comes a God of mercy and grace. He provides me with life and a way to be free from the evilness of my heart. How wretched and evil we are. This has been a humbling couple of weeks. I have nothing to hold on to but Christ alone. If I stray a little from him I get more sickened by what I turn to than I have ever before this. As frustrating and hard this has been, I am thankful for being able to see myself as I really am, broken, condemned, and hopeless. I'm glad I have my hope in the Giver and Sustainer of Life.

God bless!