"Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged to him." 2 Samuel 14:14

I absolutely love this verse for two reasons. The first is that it speaks the message of the Gospel, and two, the message of God's love is shown here in the ancient Old Testament. These words were spoken by the woman, Tekoa, who the Bible says was wise. (14:1) who was helping Joab, to get King David's son Absalom home, who fled after killing his brother. (13:38) The message of the Gospel is here in the Old Testament, that is what amazes me. What amazes me even more is that those who knew the LORD, who were wise, who were after God's own heart, knew these things. They understood this God, and He was not an angry wrathful one. They understood their own sin, they understood that the law could not save them and that instead it just showed how wretched we are. However, they also understood that God forgives, and that He loves His people.

What more do I need?

A quote a my dear sister in Christ, Jessica, texted me today,

"Lord, open my eyes, that I may see my Savior present with me.' It is a blessed thing to gaze upon Him. To those who seek Him He is kind; but to those who find Him, He is dear beyond expression!" -Charles Spurgeon

This brought me to a sermon I heard a couple of weeks ago on Psalm 23. The sermon was by Philip De Courcy, and what he said relates to this. He basically explained that the whole psalm of Psalm 23 is the first verse and the verses that follow are just a description of the first verse. After I heard this sermon I was deeply moved by it. Now this over used verse strikes my heart with love and encouragement. Why? Many know this Psalm, and know it better than me, yet I know the Shepherd and that is what is so amazing about this Psalm. It may be a beautiful poem to many but to those who know the shepherd it is their life story, their Love story.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." or my favorite way to paraphrase it, "The LORD is my shepherd, what more do I need?" Take note, this is a psalm of David. If anyone knew what it was like to be in need it was David. You may think, "well he was the king of Israel" true. However, before he was king, he hid in a cave from Saul. That is where he wrote a lot of his heart sorrowful psalms because he was in what seemed to be a hopeless situation. Yet God provided for him. David's life wasn't perfect, it was horrible actually. Because of his sin with Bathsheeba, his whole family was messed up. His one son raped his daughter, his other one tried to overthrow the throne,, if that's not pain for a father to face, then I do not know what is. Yet even so, after all this, he could still write, "The LORD is my shepherd I shall not want" Even in the midst of his turmoil he could see God's sovereignty. I need to study up on David more on my own, I've been listening to a series on David by Pastor Chuck Swindoll, it has been such a great series for me to listen to. In the midst of his turmoil you can see David's love for God, that he truly had the LORD as his shepherd.

The question now lies within me. Is the LORD my shepherd? Do I truly know the shepherd? I hope I do. I hope He reveals Himself to me more and more each day. I haven't had deep intimacy with Him lately and I know that's taking toll. He is protecting me, and I am still praying and reading the Word, but there's a battle coming, I know it. I do not believe I am prepared. We will just have to see I suppose, I just hope I remember my Shepherd.

Remember your Shepherd today, He's waiting to lead you.

He Wills as I Will

Today I was contemplating when I was flying home from D.C. a couple of weekends ago. I remember how gloomy the weather was all weekend, but on both flights, as we flew above the clouds the sun shone so bright and so magnificent that I was mesmerised by it. I love flying, it is terrifying to me as well as magnificent. Whenever we go above the clouds I smile and talk with God and just praise Him for what He has created. The beauty above the ground is amazing, yet what is also amazing is how He has fashioned mankind to make flying machines. Many view that as if they are becoming gods, and I just laugh at them because God knew how to do it all along while it took us over 3000 years to figure that out. That's what so cool about God in a way, is that He allows US to create. He has created and fashioned things already such as a field, but it is the farmer that plants and harvest the field to create food. I can certainly see God finding joy in us in that way. We are glorifying Him in the most natural sense of our being, which is being creative, thinking, feeling, making, organizing, researching, discovering, and the list goes on. As I type out this blog I am using my God-given ability to use my hands, to think, to contemplate these things. I also have the leisure and let us not forget the freedom to do such things as these given by God's grace and will by the men who willed and died for freedom for this country 200 years ago.

The will of our Creator is so magnificent and so gracious that He has willed us to will as well. A bit of a tongue twister isn't it? Probably a confusing concept as well. Apparently my reading has spoken through because this completely relates to Chapter 6 of Elisabeth Elliot's book, Discipline the Glad Surrender. Let me just quote from page 35 from the first fresh paragraph...

"We have said that Christian discipline is one's wholehearted yes to the call of God. It is of the highest importance that we understand the necessity of two wills, the one created by the other and ordained free, both operating in accord. If we forget that there are two and dwell only on the sovereign will of God, we will abdicate our responsibility and lapse into the fatalism of Islam, which leaves all to the inscrutable and unknowable. If, on the other hand, we forget the sovereignty of God and see ourselves as independent, we will arrogate to ourselves all responsibility and leave God out of it--in other words, we make ourselves God. In both cases we fail to do His will, and the result is the forfeiting of our joy and freedom."

The irony of this is that I was planning on blogging about something else. ha! ha! That is what I love about this; is being able to see the Holy Spirit speak through me. There is no reason for Him to speak through me, I am no better than anyone else, yet He chooses to, how cool is that? God does not have to use me and yet He does. What a glorious God we serve! One cannot understand this concept of Grace until they realize how wretched they really are. May God humble you and expose the sin in your life so you can be freed from the bondage of sin. I tell you I am free, but I forget that I am many times. It is only by God's will that He has shown grace to my wretched being and by my will to accept that reality in my life. By accepting this reality on a day to day basis I can discover how awesome our Creator truly is. What a wonderful Love that I have, nothing can compare to this. :-)

God bless!

In Christ,

Amber

Made in the Image

I was inspired by Clayton's blog, The Orators Education with the small line from his recent poem, "We are His image, Angels know not"

It speaks Truth, does it not? We have been made in God's image. The angels have not been made in God's image. They are splendid and magnificent beings, yet they are not made in His image. They display His glory and His splendor, yet we display His image, His being. Humanity is created in God's image. Have you ever wondered why the serpent bothered Eve? Was it Satan spiting God in the spiritual realm? Or is it deeper than that? Is it maybe because Satan in all his glorious splendor, being made as the most beautiful creature, saw Adam and Eve as something more glorious than himself? To be made in the image of God, that is the most glorious and magnificent way to be created.

For the past couple months this has been a realization to me. To quote myself in a journal entry in August "One of the most amazing mysteries of God is that He uses lowly beings who can be deceived and even controlled by spiritual forces to advance the kingdom of God in such a way that penetrates the power of spiritual darkness all thanks to the work of the Cross and the grace of our God."

We are not as strong as spiritual powers, we cannot even comprehend the spiritual realm let alone resist it on our own. Yet through the work of God, through Jesus, His Son, we have the ability to resist that spiritual strength. "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." Hebrews 2:18

In the Garden, Satan may have tempted Adam and Eve to sin, and in doing so stained the image of God's splendor with sin and shame, however, Jesus came and washed it away and we can now shine in God's glory once again. "I answered, 'Sir, you know.' And he said, 'These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." Revelation 7:14

When we look at The Cross, we tend to look at it from a humanity's perspective. Let us not forget, we were originally made in God's image, and it is by God's image that we have been cleansed once again. Satan tempted us to ruin, Jesus cleansed us into God's glory (Isaiah 61:3).

Do you ever wonder why there has been such conflict within the Church through history and even today? Why is it, that there are so many disagreements within Christianity? Why are there so many different branches of Catholicism and Protestantism? Don't you just want to say, "Why can't we all just get along?" Well let's look at it this way, the Church, is Jesus' bride (Eph 5:25-32;). The Church is Jesus' body here on earth. If we are divided then we are weakened. So who divided us? Humanity's sin, and the temptations brought about by Satan through this world. We are to blame. We have allowed ourselves to become weakened by spiritual darkness through temptations (Eph 4:17-19) because we are not relying on God's strength, but our own.

However, even though we are brought down to worry and grieve over the sin and division of the church remember Jesus' words, "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it." Matthew 16:18

Evil can do whatever it wants to divide the church, but we have a promise from Christ Himself, that it will never overcome the church. Why? Because as one we can display God's amazing splendor, glory, and power.

May this be an encouragement for you today. :-)

God bless!

In Christ,

Amber

He will do wonders among us

"Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves because the LORD will do wonders among you tomorrow."

-Joshua 3:5 "

All believers have been set apart from the unclean to the clean, from the unholy to the holy. And when believers act like the sanctified people they are, God is released to do powerful wonders among them."

-Beth Moore (from Scriptures and Quotations from Praying God's Word)

What weakens us and the church is when we lose sight of God's place in our lives. When there's lack of faith in my heart the person of God is no longer visible in my heart and I feel I could never do anything for the kingdom of God. It is only when I am right before God and have purified myself before Him is when I can see His glory being revealed in my life and the lives around me. Satan's strongest opposition force to me personally is keeping me from prayer, God's Word and God's Church. When I lack those things, I am a mere atheist because God is no longer visible to my life. When I am consistent within it that's when I can feel God's power in my life, and the Holy Spirit speaking instead of me. Don't let Satan keep that from our sight. God can and will do great wonders in your life, but you have to let Him in first in order for you to see Him again.

Wake up! Stay Alert!

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on your guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. It's like a man going away; He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back --whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone, 'Watch!' "

-Mark 13:32-37

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

-Matthew 21:34-36

Have we forgotten? I have certainly forgotten. I think I forget on an hourly basis these words from Jesus. Any day God could end things, could it be today, or maybe tomorrow. None of us know the day or the hour, not even Jesus. Yet we are commanded to be prepared. I don't know about you, but I am not prepared. Actually, I don't feel I have done anything good for the kingdom of God lately. I feel like my sin has hindered the cause of the Gospel and Satan has been winning even when I think I'm right with God.

I'm trying to determine what God's Will is for my life currently. I don't know it, and today I struggled a lot in spiritual warfare because of my lack of clarity. Doubt is a powerful force in my life right now. I know I've talked about it before on here, and yet when you think it's gone it always comes back. I just want to have faith like a mustard seed. I want to know what it is like to be faithful, ya know? I hate that I cannot trust God completely, and I'm certainly working on it. What's nice though is that I really analyzed my heart today before God, and before I went into work I read this verse,

"for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:

"Wake up, O sleeper,

rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you."

Be very careful then, how you life --not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. do not get drunk on wine which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, (always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

-Ephesians 5:14-21

I love that verse, one of my favorites. I needed to hear it. I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying, "Wake up Amber," I don't think I am fully awake just yet, but I'm making progress. I'll have to get some more spiritual nutrition in my being. But after reading those three passages, it just shook me, in the first two Christ is saying, 'wake up people! you can't lazy around and think tomorrow will just be there for you to change!" because we don't know what tomorrow holds. Then Paul tells the saints in Ephesus to wake up.

Something I've realized about scripture is that there is an urgency in it. What's strange about it is that there is a contrast to wait patiently and to trust in God's timing, however, we are also called to be urgent about how we live our lives. To stay alert, and to live by making spiritual progress. I think it is a rather nice contrast because within the urgency we receive there is a peace. The peace is knowing that God has it all under control and God has also given us a responsibility to live our lives out for His glory and His kingdom.

So I guess the challenge is, are we alert daily? Do we live our lives for God's kingdom? Or do we choose to let every opportunity God gives us to disappear. Believe me, this is a big challenge for me. I cashier and I literally engage with 200 people a day if not more, how many of those people do I actually show Christ to? Depending on the day...probably not many.

Well then, my hope and prayer for our lives is that we will stay alert and live to shine God's kingdom into the hearts of the lost as Christ has done for each and everyone of us. I hope that becomes your goal for this life. (as well as for mine)

God bless!

In Christ,

Amber

You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth and so confirms his covenant which he swore to your forefathers as it is today.

-Deuteronomy 8:17-18

It is God who provides. The LORD giveth, the LORD taketh.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is when Job's wife tells him to curse God and die because of the tragedies that fell upon their life, and he says,

"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"

We are such an ungrateful kind. When bad things happen we get angry with God, but when good things happen we question and even disbelieve God was ever involved. When in fact it is God who gives us the resources to either enjoy life or to suffer through it. In both instances He is Sovereign because He can show Himself in both circumstances and one can still seek peace in the midst of a blessed life as well as in a cursed life. From being drowned in the wealthiness of middle class society one can certainly see poverty as an appealing and freeing way of life. Hence the reason why some people seek poverty to receive enlightenment.

Whether one is poor or in wealth God can use both for the glory of His kingdom. I can't wait for the day when it will finally be established. I know many can't wait for that day, even creation can't wait. (Romans 8:19)

Currently Feel: Lukewarm

Have you ever felt nothing? Have you felt being neither good nor bad? Why am I like this? I get this way from time to time, what is wrong with me? Maybe I just discovered that when I think I had it all planned out and my life set something comes and totally sets it into chaos. I think I have lost the sight of who I am. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I know what I need, but I feel like I've lost the ability to receive it. I'm so sick of myself. I'm so sick of dealing with myself. I'm sick of living my own life, I'm sick of thinking I'm serving God and questioning whether it is God who I am serving or if it is actually myself.

A couple of Sundays ago when I was sitting in service during a sermon I looked across the congregation of people that I was sitting among. I thought to myself, "why are they here? why do we come every sunday to a place where we sit down and have someone talk to us?" I go to a rather large church as well, and the Senior Pastor is somewhat famous so he is good at what he preaches and I get a lot out of it from time to time, but what is the point of the preaching? What is the point of the preacher if no one learns and uses what is taught? I looked out across the mass of people I was surrounded around and thought, how many of these people came here to truly hear the Gospel? or are these people here just to listen to this man preach? or is it the message? and if it is the message, what good are they using it for unless they just leave it at the doorstep from sunday to sunday and it never leaves the building from where it was preached.

Back in m hometown of St. Louis I attended a Baptist church. At the main entrance into the building of the church when you would leave there was a sign above the door that said, "The Mission Field." I'm curious to know how many people truly see this place we live in a "mission field." I'm curious to know how many people are truly making it their priority to lead people to Christ.

I want to know of all the people that claim to be Christian, how many of them would actually die for it. I am waiting for the day when God allows this lovely luxurious place that we live in to totally become a place that is completely intolerant towards Christianity. I'd be interested to know how many of these "christians" would still call themselves that. Would I be one of them?

I just don't know anymore. I don't know how to be a Christian...I don't know how to have faith. I don't know what God is calling me to do with my life, or if I am even listening to Him. Maybe I've become so enticed by this place's luxury that I have forgotten God all together. What's the point in studying theology? D. L. Moody didn't go to school, he studied the Bible and that is all he studied. What am I missing? I'm probably missing my brain because I am in such a confused state of being.

What is the whole point of this blog? To realize I don't understand life and I am so utterly frustrated with myself for not staying in the Word and in prayer daily for the past couple of weeks. My soul is completely restless...

"out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD; O LORD hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you O LORD kept a record of sins O LORD who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. I wait for the LORD my soul waits and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen wait for the morning more than watchmen wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins." Psalm 130

Praying to show mercy to the merciless

Now this is the test. This is the time to show who a real Christian is. You find out a lot about a person when you put them in a heated situation. I suppose that is where God has put me. They are consequences for my sin that I now have to deal with. This is one of the things I hate most about being a Christian is that when it comes to defining yourself in situations like this where you were also wrong or made a mistake, I can't say, "well at least I don't act like *insert name*" because as Christians the only one we compare ourselves to is Christ and Christ endured a lot of heat from people. I am tempted to get angry and lash back, I'm tempted to act coldly, but neither one of those extremes is helpful. They are all driven by Satan. Even though it hurts to be treated with anger and as a human my first defense is to shout right back, Christ's defense is to turn the other cheek, to fight with your spiritual sword the Bible. This is not a human warfare I am in, this is a spiritual warfare I am in. A human being may be the physical visual I see in this war, but it all has to deal with the soul and who is attacking it. Get behind me Satan. He's tempting me a lot, I gotta mortify this sin before it takes control. I feel the burden on my heart right now.

I think the Sabbatical I took for the past three days was extremely helpful for me, because now I'm on the battlefield. I don't know what God is doing, maybe He's saying to me, "I've trained you enough, you need to start fighting now and not hiding" I know His hand is beside me, but how can He help me if I don't do anything about it? How can God give a hand when I won't even start? It is time to start, it is time to have faith and go out and continue on the journey He has placed in my life, I just pray that I am not being deceived by the evil one as I make my decisions. I just pray God will grant me peace through this time though.

It is armor of God time...

7/19/09 draft...

These past three days I went on a Sabbatical because I just haven't felt God speak in such a long time. I felt a spiritual drought and I neglected him to do other things. I felt it on Sunday after church when I was at home trying to read my Bible and prepare myself before I went into work. I seriously felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown. It wasn't necessarily because I was doing too much, but more so that I was doing to much without God's hand in my life. I felt like I hadn't rested in His presence in months. So I took my Sabbatical starting Monday. What's hard about the first day of really digging into your heart before God is that sin really exposes itself. I've experienced this before, actually this is my life story. I neglect God, need to get back with him, and I see ugliness of my sin set before me. The worst part about it though is that it affected my whole day. Normally when I have a good quiet time with God I am in a good mood, but when it has been a while your sin just oozes out of you all day. Not a fun experience but it has to happen so that God can cleanse you. Tuesday was much better, and today was a good day as well, at least between me and God. I read through the whole book of Exodus today, it took me about two hours. I tell you, if you have never done that, I recommend it immensely. I got so into it, and I just felt the presence of God in a wonderfully trembling way. At the end of reading it I just fell on my knees before God and prayed for His mercy on my sinful soul.

When I was younger I use to wonder how Israel could forget God so easily and be such ungrateful brats towards Him. When people said they could relate to Israel in that I way I didn't understand. I understand now. I find myself worse than Israel, I can have a great quiet time with Him in the morning and totally forget about him by lunch time. I am so thankful for His amazing love, that when I am faithless He remains faithful.

God's grace extends to even a righteous sinner

Pain, why does God allow people to live in pain? Why does God allow people to suffer? Why do some people have a blessed life and others have a horrific one? Why in the world has God blessed me so much with parents who love and care for me? Why am I not in poverty? Why has God spared my family members from death while others I know of have to deal with sickness, insanity, and death?

I cannot understand grace. Why has God been so gracious to me? I haven't lived a scandalous life, I avoid those loud temptation, so how have I become this? How have I become a thankful humble servant of the King? The only thing I can say is that God doesn't just save the scandalous sinners, He saves sinners from scandalous sins too. He spared me for a reason and I don't know why. I am extremely thankful, but I wish I knew for what purpose He has me here in this cursed generation.

What I have realized though, is that the more you are like Christ, the more you live a life of self-sacrificing and people serving the more people are drawn to you. I assumed I would be persecuted for this but I really haven't been persecuted for my faith yet. That is something I have yet to experience, and I am curious to know how I respond when it does, but that will come in time. But it is fascinating because as I anchor my spiritual, emotional, and mental foundation on Christ, the more people seem to anchor their lives on me. The more they open up, the more they want to spend time with me. I never asked for this, but apparently it's mostly when I don't ask God purposes for His good and His glory.

I don't know why God has spared and blessed my life and what God has purposed in my life, but I do know I want to make the most of it for HIS glory and I want to help and care for so many people who need to see the love of Christ. I hope I have the opportunity more and more each year and it opens doors to people and places I am not familiar with so God's glory extends to the corners of the earth. :-)

For All You've Done

(Clint Lagerberg)

Oh cleanser of the mess I've made
Upon the hill our places trade
Stretched on a cross Your body crushed
By human hands You formed from dust

How wonderful Your mercy is
How awesome are Your ways
I come, I come
To worship You
For all You've done

Oh cleanser of the mess I've made
Your boundless love for me portrayed
With patience for my learning curve
By holding back what I deserve

How wonderful Your mercy is
How awesome are Your ways
I come, I come
To worship You
For all You've done

Oh cleanser of the mess I've made
With everything at Your feet laid
I watch as all my cares erode
And from my soul these words explode

How wonderful Your mercy is
How awesome are Your ways
I come, I come
To worship You
For all You've done

Dependence

Dependance.  In a country where we have become to self-sufficient for stuff, dependance is far from our minds.  I come from a dad who is always prepared and always asserts his mind in being prepared.  He always asks me if I have my flashlight in my purse before I leave the house just 'in case.'  How many girls do you know who have a flashlight in their purse?  Probably not many, but it is rather common in my household between my mom and I, and they always do come in handy.  Even so, where I am going with this is not to tell you about how my dad is prepared for stuff, but to just give you an idea that I know what it's like to be prepared and to be self-sufficient.  My dad of course had to become self-sufficient in way, in order to raise a healthy and well off family.  However, I know that when we do live in a self-sufficient way, we forget, that God is in total control of our lives and how they turn out.  Many of us do not even think to depend on God.

I realized recently how much is dependent on God in my own life by just experience.  Think about driving for example; how many times a day when you drive are you totally and utterly focused and alert on the road?  I mean, your mind is not distracted by anything else but the car next to you, in front of you, and behind you.  You never look down to check the time, you never change the radio station or the song on your iPod, you are completely focused on your surroundings.  Honestly, maybe it is just me, but I think that is totally impossible.  I don't know how many times I've noticed just in the nick of time to break, to watch that I don't swerve off the road but I've always caught myself just in time.  Always.  I cannot call that pure luck, I call it God's providence in my life.  Not only that, but think about all the times when someone almost has run into you, or could possibly run into you.  We are humans.  We were born with error, and some guy decides to invent this huge hunk of machinery for over tens of thousands of people to maneuver on a day to day basis.  With that in mind, I cannot understand how someone can drive a car and not believe in God.  I've learned that after I park my car or sometimes while I'm still driving, I have to thank God for His providence in my life at that moment, because I know half the time I drive it is not me who is maneuvering the car.  What an amazing God.  

People don't realize that even in the smallest things God will provide and take care of, that He actually does care for the things that may not matter or effect the universe as a whole, but just our lives, and the lives of people around us.  Praying to find a lost pair of keys to praying for the healing of a close friend, God will listen to both.

It is sad to think of how I once thought God would "get me" someday for all the things I purposefully did wrong against Him.  Even after I asked for forgiveness.  I realized recently that the Cross is guilt free and liberating.  As a Christian, as a Christ follower, I will never have to live in guilt.  My slate has been washed clean, for all the things I have done.  Sure there will and are things that I feel guilty about, but we do need to feel some sort of guilt in order to realize that we messed up, but after we ask for forgiveness the guilt that comes back is unhealthy and ungodly.  It is definitely from Satan, and never from God.  If it was from God it would contradict the whole purpose of the Cross, and Christ's whole life, death, and resurrection would mean absolutely nothing.  

I just love how liberating Christianity is.  It hurts and angers me how people look at Christianity and see it as the cause of guilt, because of the stupid and vile history that encompasses it, as well as how man has created it to be so authorizing over people's lives.  It was never meant to be made into a man made institution but a God ordained agency.  Of course, from looking at ancient history from the Bible and looking at history after the Bible when it comes to religion, there has always been this problem.  History just repeats itself with religion.  It goes from Israel wanting a king, God giving them a king, and then their religion becomes corrupted by the monarchy because it is power hungry and foolish.  God destroys Israel as a nation through exile by Babylon, then when Jesus is born, you have the Pharisees who use religion as powerful and corrupted in more religious ways.  After that, Christians start becoming persecuted, and then through Constantine he turns christianity around and creates it as a government religion.  Sometime before or during that (I need to brush up on my history) The Church is created as a universal institution and history just repeats itself.  Protestantism appears out of the corrupted institution and opens people's eyes to the Truth once again.  Even so, Protestantism is corrupted and you have overly religious people within that institution as well.  What is the moral of the story?  Stick with God's Word, not your own.  Ask God to tell you what the Truth is, not man.  Open up your heart to the words of the Bible, to ideas that you may not want to hear, because through the offense you will find Truth.

It amazes me though, by looking at history, how God has still spoken through corrupt institutions.  He still cares for us, even when in centuries people forget about Him, not just people, but those He has called His own.  It may seem utterly impossible and fanciful to think this way about God, but in all honesty, I've realized what gives God this reason to look upon us with compassion.  "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd.  So he began teaching them many things."  Luke 6:34  God looks on us as beings without help.  He looks at us, just like a mother would look upon a lost and hungry child in the middle of a city who cannot find its own mother.  Why? because we cannot fend for ourselves, and until we realize that, and put dependence on God, we will never find true joy.

Well, my mind has run dry with thoughts so I will leave it alone.  May you depend on God in every hour of every day, starting with of course thanksgiving for the protection and providence He has already given to you.  :-)

God bless!

In Christ,

Amber

As a History Buff this got my attention...

"I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creation of our genius? Upon force, Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

"Consequently atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning"
-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Forgiveness isn't Weakness

I have realized how forgiveness is so much more amazing to live by than living in bitterness and revenge. Society looks at forgiveness in somewhat of a noble yet weak and boring way, yet looks at bitterness and revenge as the way to live your life. Why? because it is easier.
To constantly forgive people that have wronged you in some way in the past, whether it is friends, or family members, is one of the hardest things to do. Why? because we want to be right, we are selfish beings, and even when we have practiced forgiving and you think you are okay, it comes back to haunt you. I truly believe it is Satan who brings these things back, because my mind can be no where near remembering the past, and then these thoughts will come into my head. Thoughts that make me want to rekindle past flames of hurt and bitterness, in order to create a grudge filled fire. Do I give in? depending on the day, yeah sometimes. Other times, I yell at myself, I yell at Satan, because I know that is not the type of heart God calls us to have. I have to remind myself who I serve, and that is the Holy God, who forgave me even though I despise and reject Him with sin daily. Who am I to hold a grudge on someone, and then pray to God? Who do I think I am? That would be completely hypocritical of me, to call myself a Christian, and then hope revenge on someone, or treat them like crap of stuff that happened in the past. No, God calls us (meaning: Christians, those who follow Christ) to be set apart. To forgive, to love, to show mercy to those who don't deserve it, because that's what He showed to us through His Son.
As I have studied other religions, and learned about them through my comparative religion class at school, I cannot waver from Christianity. I mean, many religions sound the same, you do this and you'll find happiness, you do this and you will find peace. People put Christianity in that area, which makes sense, but here's what makes it different and I cannot get over, it is the Cross. I cannot get past the Cross. Sure, people can say Jesus was a good moral teacher or a prophet of some sort, but can one really understand the Cross if all they believe is that He was a good moral teacher. I think not.
Honestly, I have thought about other religions being the "right way" to go, believe me, I have really considered it before. Yet none of them have a story like the Cross. None have a story that God would come in human form and die for mankind.
I have considered Judaism as a religion to follow, yet it saddens me, because I realized, they are a lost people. They were God's chosen, and still are, but reject the Gospel message, and now just wander waiting for the Messiah that has already come. How terrably sad. My professor talks about how they (including him) are a persecuted people, why do you think? In Deutoronmy God promises Israel prosperity if they follow Him and worship Him, and if they don't, destruction. Has Judah ever been able to rest since they returned to their home during the Persian Empire? Actually, have they been able to rest since the temple was destroyed during the exile to Babylon? 400 years past by, and then a man claiming to be the Messiah comes. Many believe, many reject, and some betray Him. Why? In order that the words of the prophets may come true.
God shows forgiveness to mankind throughout the Old Testament, and into the New Testament we are able to see it much clearer through the demonstration of the Cross.
What an amazing story that is to me, not that God would come and teach people how to live "good" or "moral" lives, but in order that He may die. Imagine your goal in life, your mission on earth, is to die. What kind of mission is that? It sounds hopeless and pathetic. Yet, that's what Jesus came to do, in such a picture of weakness, He dies for humanity in order to destroy Satan's stronghold on this earth, and in order for us to have the kingdom of God reign in our hearts until He comes again to take us to that kingdom. What an amazing story. All are welcome to join in too, men and women alike, equal before the eyes of God.
Ah well, I'm tired, enough of my thoughts for tonight.
God bless!

In Christ,
Amber

Found in the Talmud

While my professor was telling us a "short" story (it took about half an hour to tell) I was reading in my Comparative Religion text book, and I came across a story from the Jewish Talmud. Basically it is a book of two types, legal material and narrative tales. (It was put together in 425 A.D.) I kept reading and I found this really cool story that was taken from the Talmud, enjoy! :-)
__________________________________________________________________

Another time the Emperor said to R. Joshua B. Hananiah, "I wish to see your God." He replied, "You cannot see him." "Indeed," said the Emporer, "I will see him." He (Hananiah) went and placed the Emperor facing the sun during the summer solstice and said to him, "Look up at it." He replied, "I cannot." R. Joshua said, "If at the sun which is but one of the ministers that attend the Holy One, blessed be He, you cannot look, how then can you presume to look upon the divine presence?"

Unenlightened

Ever feel, unenlightened?

I suppose we all do, hence why blogs are not always written or hardly written every single second of every single day, and if they were, they probably wouldn't be that exciting.

What I do not understand is this past week or so, why I have been so....attacked. Why in the world, is this lasting so long. Spiritual warfare does not happen this long in my life. It has been probably a week and a half. Hauntings of my heart, hauntings of my past, hauntings of mistakes, from the littlest mistake to the greatest. Not to mention, struggles with my ego, my pride, my superiority mindset, my lack of compassion, my lack of love.
What was it last month? Doubt. What is it this month, pride. Stupid stupid pride. Looking to my own interests, taking my mind off the heavenly prize.
I know what I need to do, but I don't want to do it. This is the worst, because I know I need my weapon. A part of my heart uplifts as I think about it, yet my body won't let me go. It is the simple, reading God's Word. Why is this so difficult for me to do? Because I know. I know I have to think, I know I have to face reality, I know I can have peace, yet I am way to lazy.

I hate lazyness. Lazyness is my greatest burdon. It is my greatest sin. I wonder how much of it will be affected by my future. I absolutely hate it, yet I don't want to stop it. When I get lazy, I let my guard down, that is when sin takes over. That is when it floods into my mind like water through a broken dam.

It is very interesting, okay, first of off, sidetrack. I do not know if many people know this about me, but I experience life as if it is a research project. How people act or react towards me, how they do not, the types of lives they live, the types of life I live in comparison and how they think of that. I study how I react to things, how I experience stuff. When I laugh at something that isn't really that funny, it is because I look at it as this whole ridiculous concept. Of course people give me really weird looks and they think I'm crazy. haha Which in part, maybe I am but that is how God has made me and I am okay with it. Actually I enjoy it immensely. Maybe it is a spiritual gift of seeing more than just the surface in every thing. Who knows, all I know is I have this sociologists mindset. Studying the behaviors of others, and a psychologists mindset by studying the behavior of myself.

Well anyway, back to what was very interesting. I was driving home today, and I really was in no mood for music, but I wanted to listen to something. As I played the shuffle on my iPod, I kept skipping songs, until I reached a sermon. (yes, I put sermons on my iPod, very nice.) It is interesting how one does that isn't it? Sometimes a sermon can be very fascinating to me. I don't know what it is, if maybe I just need to drink of some sort of spiritual thought, or what.
David says in the Psalm 63 "My body thirsts of you in a dry and weary land." Have you ever felt like that before? I am in no way saying you have to feel like that, but I am just using it as an analogy of how it feels sometimes. I long for God sometimes. Even though I spent time with Him the other day, and I prayed to Him this morning, somedays I just long for Him like I'm dehydrated spiritually.

I went to church this morning, but I had to leave early because of work, and I didn't go tonight just because I was tired. Yet, you know what, sometimes church can serve as a distraction more than a focus. It is easy to go to church and put on a happy face, and act like you are this amazing christian. The real challange isn't that at all, the real challange isn't sharing the Gospel, the real is dealing with yourself. The real burdonsome, frusterating, challange, is going before Almighty God with a pure and humble heart, and keeping it that way. That is the biggest challange I face. The reason being, it causes you to think. To think deeper than you really want to. To truly take it to heart, and live it out.

I quote on my facebook, which explains it, "I do not understand how a man can be a true believer unto whom sin is not the greatest burdon, sorrow and trouble" -John Owen

If you want to know what it means to be a Christian, ^ that's it. It is a constant battle between your nature and yourself. It is fighting the good fight, and I know, believe me I know, when I get this way, God has something in store for me. I hate going through spiritual warfare, but I also know it is Satan attacking me trying to bring me down, because he knows God is using me for something that is great. I may never know what that is, but I have the hope of God's promise, and that is what keeps me going, and to never give up. I do not give up, I just get distracted very easily. ;-)
Well, I am stalling myself. It is time to dig deep and dirty into my heart, and pull out the filth that is festering inside of it.
God bless!

In Christ,
Amber

Valentine's Email February 13, 2009

Hello Ladies!

Around this time in February I like to send an email out to my sisters in Christ. Basically it is to remind both you and me, how important and amazing God's love is. When Valentine's Day comes around, the single women seem to find a fun way to spend it, or sulk about singlehood and the attached women seem to plan a romantic day with their partner. What's wrong with this picture? We tend to forget God. As christians, we are to give God all things, we are to give Him our whole heart, even if we have given it to someone else. God should not be neglected, and for a single woman to be depressed on Valentine's day is as much of a sin as an attached woman spending the whole day with her partner without any dependence or love towards God. In order to prevent you and me from sinning this Saturday in this way, I've looked up some verses to remind us of how amazing God's love truly is. I hope you will read and gain insight and encouragement from it, and possibly fall in love with God again.

Starting off in Isaiah, God speaks of the future hope to the Israelites as they were betraying Him,

Isaiah 54:4-7,10
"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgraces; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For your Maker is your husband--the LORD Almighty is his name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit--a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God.For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
(10) Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

Even when Israel commited adultery against God with other idols, and even though they refused to give up their sin in front of God, even though they were as bad as Sodom (Ezekiel 16:49) even though God burned with anger towards them, He did not destroy Israel completely. He kept His promise, He longed for them to come back to Him and He brought them back.
Again another instance in Isaiah of God's heart towards rebelious Israel,

Isaiah 49:15,16
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

Isaiah 46:4
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

In the midst of God's anger, He still promises these things to Israel. Just sit back and meditate on that, Israel has become just as bad as Sodom, the wicked city God destroyed back in Genesis, they knew they were rebeling against God, they refused to listen to His prophets, they ignored God and rejected God, after He had given them prosperity and safety. Israel completely rejects God, and what does God promise? The suffering of His servant. (Isaiah 53) His Son. His Son who is going to come and die for sinful Israel and the rest of the world. Why? because God loves us.

Not only has God loved us by sending His Son, but His Son also loves us. (Philippians 2:6-8) (John 17:20-26)

John 17:24-26
"Father I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you and they know that you have sent me, I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

True love, doesn't come from people, it comes from God. "We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19)

1 John 4:16-17
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him."

Through God's love, we are made complete in Him. We are made complete! God's love is the only love that can fill us in this way.

Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Habakkuk 3:19
"The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

So, as the day approaches, what is going to drive your motivation for the day? The joy of God's amazing love for us? or the fleeting joy of human love? My hope and prayer for this weekend, is that none of us live like the rest of the world does. (Romans 12:1-2) We are called to be set apart. This is the perfect time for Satan to disable us from doing the work God has called us to do. That is, love one another, to clothe ourselves with Christ. (Romans 13:14) To not think we are better than others, but to serve one another. We are the light of the world, (Matthew 5:14-16) meant to shine in dark places. How much more of an impact God can make on other's lives through us, when we share this amazing love with others in the way we present ourselves. My challenge for you and me is to live out the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13, to not envy others, to not boast of what you have, to not be self-seeking, but always trust, always hope, always persevere. Don't complain, but rejoice in the truth! :-) I love you ladies, and I hope this is helpful for you. I have some passages and verses at the bottom of this email I haven't referenced that maybe you can look up and meditate on your own this weekend. Plus, if you have any insights or encouragements to share, please do! Hit reply to all and type away. :-)

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19

God bless! :-)

Your Sister In Christ,
Amber



Fall in Love with God:

Isaiah 40:25-31

Psalm 119Psalm 107:10-16

Psalm 37:23-24

Psalm 27:13-14

Romans 8:38-39

1 John 3:1,16-20

1 John 4:7-21

Our response as godly women:

(for single women) Song of Songs 2:7

Galatians 5:22-25

1 Peter 1:13-25

:-)

The Incomprehensible Sleep

The most influential band in my spiritual growth, Cool Hand Luke, wrote this song. This is what they say it's about,

"The incomprehensible sleep is the sleep Christ’s disciples fell into as he prayed in Gethsemane. Jesus’ only request to them in his darkest hour was to stay awake and pray, yet, they failed him. We, too, have all fallen into this incomprehensible sleep. We can wake up. Indeed, we will wake up. Do you hear Him calling us? “Set your hearts on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:1,2)
The title for this song was inspired by a sermon by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who knew suffering better than I can imagine. The sermon is entitled Judas. It was preached in Finkenwalde, Germany on March 14, 1937."

Enjoy the lyrics, I hope they inspire your life as much as they have inspired mine.
-Amber

The Incomprehensible Sleep:
Matthew 26:36-46

Our lives up to this point have lead to this
A garden in the dark, a deadly kiss (Matthew 36:47-49)
If you want to follow me
We’ll walk into suffering
It’s this act that will distinguish us

My disciples, those I’ve chosen (John 15:16)
Don’t listen to the sirens
Don’t you know that I would never lead you astray
Tie yourself to the mast and cover your ears with wax and
Keep your gaze on me, for God’s sake stay awake

Sometimes you have to close your eyes to see.
Sometimes to walk you have to get down on your knees.
All I ask is that you pray
All I ask is that you stay awake
But your dreams betray me

My disciples, those I’ve chosen
Don’t listen to the sirens
Don’t you know that I would never lead you astray
Tie yourself to the mast and cover your ears with wax and
Keep your gaze on me, for God’s sake stay awake

Wake up.

Are you resting?
Are you still asleep?
Wake Up, O Sleeper (Ephesians 5:14)
Wake Up and say a prayer
Wake Up, O Sleeper
Are you my betrayer?
Wake up, O Sleeper
Wake up, O Sleeper

Incomprehensible, Incomprehensible

It All Him

God of grace, I stand in wonder. You have left me dumbfounded by your amazing glory. Who knew zeal and my love for You could come back in such a way as it did. You used the one thing that I thought would lead me away from You, to fall back in love with You.
With that Lord, I praise You!

Wait for the Lord

"Wait for the LORD,
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD"
-Psalm 27:14

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
-Psalm 37:7

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!"
-Isaiah 30:18

"I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us."

"yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior."
-Habakkuk 3:16,18

As christians, how often in our lives do we not wait patiently? How often do we just rush into things, because we just want to get things over with or because we want it now. Yet God calls us to wait patiently. He says, blessed are those of us who wait patiently on Him.
It's so funny yet so pathetic how we think by doing what we want to do now is what will bring us happiness, when I have found it's when one waits, then they will find truth and genuine joy. Waiting can be very hard, believe me, I know. I wonder if I will ever meet the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, I wonder if I ever made an impact in some of my friend's lives enough for them to want Christ as I want Him. I don't hate not knowing where my future will lead, but I hate not knowing if I will ever get what I want, and if what I want will even be worth it to me. I hate not knowing myself in this aspect. It's hard to pray for someone every day for over a year and half and wonder if those prayers will ever be answered in their life, and will they even realize it was me that nagged God to help them...who knows.

Honestly, in many of those things, it may not be my business to know the answers to those questions. If anything, it will be a major blessing if I ever get an answer. Yet what I do know is what God calls me to, to wait patiently for Him. God has blessed me beyond all that I could ever imagine, it would be ungrateful for me to be miserable. Who am I to tell God that I am ready? That I am ready to take on the world? That I can handle this particular sin or circumstance on my own when in reality I can't.

In all honestly at the moment, I am happy, and it's mostly because with God's help (mostly all His help and through other's prayer...very little of my own doing) I have been able to resist temptations, I have been able to fight doubt this morning. As I said in my last post, doubt has been one of the things I've been struggling with a lot lately. It just creeps up on me and strangles all that I have grown up to believe, making me feel miserable and distant from my Lord and Savior. I become insecure in my belief, I feel like I am a fool for believing this stuff, and that those who look at me and think me of always being happy probably find me fake and my beliefs fake, and then I question maybe my beliefs are fake. Maybe they're too much of fantasy and not enough of reality. Maybe it's my age, maybe I'm closeminded, maybe I'm confused or maybe I'm just stupid. lol Who knows...but you know what, I know God will prove all that wrong. I know He will show Himself to me. I often pray to Him now as the father said to Jesus, "help me overcome my unbelief!" When I pray, I know I'm not praying to nothing, I am praying to a loving God, who reveals Himself to me through the Bible. This is why the Bible was made, it's not the answers to all of lifes question kind of book, but it's the answer to the most important life question, and that is, who is God.

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is at the end of Job, when God speaks to Job and his friends. I like to read it when I'm having pride issues, to help humble me. lol Here's one of the lines from that passage,

"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me."
-Job 38:2

It seriously makes me laugh and makes me shutter at the same time. Who am I to question God? I love how God says, "brace yourself like a man," because when people use that phrase they look at a man as this strong superior type of person, but when God says it, it comes off as a man being completely powerless and such an inadequate being.

So anyway, that was a rather long yet good sidetrack, but my point being is, I just like you am only human. I have fears, I have tons of doubt, I struggle with insecurities, yet what I know and I hope that you know is this, that through it all, I will wait patiently for the LORD. And by waiting patiently, I have discovered true happiness, and a sense of contentment. Even though I don't know where life may lead, even though I may not meet a guy until I'm 40, even though I may never know if my prayers get answered, I know that God is in control and that He can use me for His glory, and that's the only way I want Him to use me. I honestly aspect my life to become tradgic and hard, yet even though it can be a scary thought, I'm not afraid because I know that God is in control and He's on my side...or more that I'm on His side. ;-)
Well with that I close and hope that you are also waiting patiently on the LORD.
God bless!

In Christ,
Amber

God Speaks

I realized how much I love the Prophets. I've been struggling a lot with doubt lately, in who God is as a "person". It's hard to read the Old Testament and the brutality of Scripture and think, "this is a compassionate God?" but what I realized is that in the earlier books, one the world was barbaric and brutal, two, they were records. What I absolutely love is the book of the Prophets because you aren't reading records of human history, you are reading God's mind towards human history. You are reading God's thoughts, who He is. You are looking at God's side of the story, and as you read the stories of Moses, or in Judges or from 1 Samuel to 2 Chronicles you wonder what kind of God is this, He sounds pretty demanding, but then you read Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezekial, and so on and I am amazed at who God is. How compassionaite He truly is, how gracious a God He is, and that He hasn't changed, because He does not change.

I was reading the story of David and Absolam, and then Moses having to deal with the rebellion and grumbling of Israel, and reading how God dealt with these things. Then I went to Hosea and read God's heart towards rebellious Israel, and I said to myself, God speaks. He spoke before this of course, you read God's words to Moses and to David through the priests, but that was through records. It's basically an overview of things, but then read after Song of Solomon and it's no longer man that records, it is God's turn to record. God speaks.
It's the most beautiful poetry and words to read, they amaze me.

Then after the Old Testament you don't hear from God anymore, for 600 hundred years I do believe, no prophets, no nothing. Then all of a sudden, the Messiah is born. God speaks again.
It's so powerful when He speaks, so shuttering, yet so awe-inspiring, so comforting.

After Jesus ascends into Heaven, we don't hear from God again in that way. All we have is Scripture until He will one day speak again to us through Jesus in the day of vengeance. (Isaiah 61:2) I wonder how that will be seen, or heard, by people. Probably in the same way Jesus came, or in the same way He spoke through the Prophets, it will be shuttering, awe-inspiring, and comforting to those who fear the Lord and have been preparing themselves for His return.

What a fascinating and amazing story. God's story that is. Some think God doesn't remember us, He has forgotten us, because why would He let bad things happen? Let God speak. (Isaiah 49:15) You will feel foolish like I have so many times when I accuse God, (btw foolish is only the tip of the iceburg of how it feels) yet you will also be amazed at His Wonder and Majesty of how Just and Good He truly is.
With that all I gotta say is,
God bless and let God speak to you this year :-)

In Christ,
Amber