I started my day out lazily, sleeping over a friends house and coming home and showering around 4pm. I attempted to get things done, but I basically slacked off until about 7pm. What's interesting is that I had started reading the chapter we will be going over in Bible study this thursday and here's something that really stuck out to me today, "A simple and orderly life represents a clean and orderly mind. Muddled thinking inevitably results in muddled living. A house that is cluttered is usually lived in by people whose minds are also cluttered, who need to simplify their lives. This begins with simplifying and clarifying their thinking. Mind and life need to be freed from the 'disorder of the unnecessary'."
I started thinking about my own life, my room was so disorganized, and I wanted to make some changes by tidying it up. I avoid my room a lot because it can get so disorganized and if I go in there it just overwhelms me with duties I am neglecting. This disorganization is all over my life I realized. Yesterday my mind was a disorganized mess. I couldn't think straight, there was too much to think about, I became so emotional it was so hard for me to worship at church last night. I was in tears because so much was going on I couldn't comprehend. Was it anyones fault? No. I believe the fault lay with me, because of the disorganization in my heart and how much discipline I've lacked. I'm still picking up the pieces from my last blog mind you, I'm only human. ;-) However, what is so cool is how today, after I read that quote, I decided to tidy up my room. I spent about 3 hours cleaning out stuff I no longer need, papers that I wrote that I don't need, church bulletins I never threw away. (yeah, I suffer with a pack rat gene...I'm working on it) I was listening to some christian music while doing it, and just reading past sermons, quotes that I found written down, letters/cards friends had written to me, my whole mood changed. I feel freed from over thinking, worrying, not being able to focus. It was like, once I organized one area of my life (a very small area mind you) my mind became organized. I have the song that I quoted at the beginning of this in my head and I've been singing it all night.
My new year started off so badly in my own personal life. I haven't been content since after Christmas. I realized recently what my problem was, and I noticed how I am changing personality wise. I feel older, that I've learned a lot last year, and even these past couple of weeks about myself. I've been praying that God would expose a sin in my life that I am not aware of and I think He has. It's really nice to realize it and to be able to name it. Funny how organizing ones room can do so much for them spiritually eh? :-)
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