"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
serves as an encouragement to me. I feel as though crying about things and basically mourning about stuff is just me wasting time when I should be doing better things. However, this passage encourages me that it is okay. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to cry, it is okay. There are times to cry, and this morning through afternoon I see as a right time to cry. There are times to laugh though, and right now I see it as that. This afternoon and morning and even last night were times of mourning, but now I feel like dancing. Why? because I'm human, and human beings make mistakes, and through their mistakes God uses them, yet also, because of our mistakes Satan accuses us. I've been going through a lot of accusation today, and I cannot say I am freed from it, it is still there, but I know it is growing me and teaching me. I know the things I've done in my past, sure I messed up, but I also know that I'm not perfect, and that through our mistakes God can be even more glorified.
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Do I regret my past? No. I mean, I thought I did, but why should I regret something that I am learning from? Our mistakes, our confusions, our unwise decisions, they make us who we are. In some instances, for those who choose to avoid learning from them and disciplining themselves from changing their ways, they are foolish and will bring about their own problems and sorrows. Yet for those who are wise, they will choose to learn from them, and will see how they, even though messed up and stupid, can become wiser to not go there again.
I want to be wise. I remember Josh using this metaphor of a glass being filled. If it was filled with good and loving things, if you bumped into it, it would overflow with love. Yet if the glass was mostly filled with unkind and rude things, when you bumped into it, it would overflow with those aspects of your character. You have to question then, which would you rather be filled with? Love or hate? How you will know is, how you react when you are caught off guard and bumped into, and what comes out of your life then. That will define what you have truly filled yourself with.
I believe I am filling myself with love. Even though I'm stupid, and even when I'm caught off guard, and life comes out of nowhere and bumps into me, I realized recently, (just recently, I cannot say I was this a month ago) I have more of the ability to spill out love to people. Am I always like this? No. I think this week works the most in a loving way because of last week, and being able to rest in the LORD and surrendering my thoughts and my heart to Him once again. It has helped me to face what I have gone through this week, and will continue to have to face. God is always on time, never late. I can see that perfect timing in my own life. Not just in one instance, but in many instances at one time.
"I'm not shaken, I'm not letting go."
That has been my motive for this week, my hope for this week, it serves as a reminder to me. Freedom is here.
and remember, weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. :-) (Psalms 30:5b)
God bless!
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