Ima just do it

Recently Chris and I have been called to lead an Missional Community (In other churches it's known as a "small group"). We say "called" because we had been praying for God to direct us to where He wants us. We were willing to leave our church if that was the direction needed to best glorify God in our life. Instead we were approached and asked about leading an MC. I don't like using the word "called" because it's a very loosely used term within the evangelical community and I tend to be doubtful. I don't think highly of my spirituality and so to say I'm "called" to something in my mind sounds rather elitist. However, in this instance I say "called" because we weren't looking to lead an MC. If we were asked 4 months ago we would have laughed and said no.

One of the reasons we would have declined quickly is we already volunteer our time & energy to youth ministry. I'm not the type to mindlessly volunteer myself for stuff. I also don't like when organizations like churches suck the time and energy out of their members. I have burned out in ministry before. That may be why I'm so cynical about stuff. However, I honestly believe this is the right choice and it is taking a huge step of faith and discipline on my part to trust that God will care for us through this.

Today thinking about it started to overwhelm my spirit and then this hymn came to my heart:

Holy Spirit, living Breath of God,

Breathe new life into my willing soul.

Bring the presence of the risen Lord

To renew my heart and make me whole.

Cause Your Word to come alive in me;

Give me faith for what I cannot see;

Give me passion for Your purity.

Holy Spirit, breathe new life in me.

Holy Spirit, come abide within;

May Your joy be seen in all I do—

Love enough to cover ev'ry sin

In each thought and deed and attitude,

Kindness to the greatest and the least,

Gentleness that sows the path of peace.

Turn my striving into works of grace.

Breath of God, show Christ in all I do. 

Holy Spirit, from creation's birth,

Giving life to all that God has made,

Show Your power once again on earth;

Cause Your church to hunger for Your ways.

Let the fragrance of our prayers arise.

Lead us on the road of sacrifice

That in unity the face of Christ

Will be clear for all the world to see.

Holy Spirit, Living Breath of God

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

© 2006 Thankyou Music

From <http://www.gettymusic.com/hymns-holyspirit.aspx>

^^^ That is so my heart for our MC this year.

A major part of stepping out in faith is being willing to sacrifice. Chris and I don't want to live a quiet happy comfortable life. Before I was married I feared the suburban lifestyle. I feared becoming so complacent in my life that I didn't see the needy or have a desire to change a community for the better. Looking back now I see why I have always been willing to go into social situations where I don't know anyone and meet new people and try new things. It is comfortable to be known it is extremely uncomfortable to not be known by anyone. As I got older the more uncomfortable things I would put myself through. That's why I was willing to leave my hometown so quickly. Why I left to go to college and not stay at home and then right after graduation move to another state with a totally different culture.

Now the next step to sacrifice for me is time. Being willing to give more time to people and also balance it well so my marriage is healthy. My fear is that I will burn out. That I won't be able to handle ministering to people in a deeper way. That what I thought I was a "calling" was just a human coincidence and has no bearing on a divine plan. Or that I made the wrong decision and it was a test on me to either say yes or no and now I must suffer the consequences of my human foolishness.

My spirit responds to my overthinking with this: Ima just do it.